A Joan Osborne tune “One of Us” sung at church today had me thinking about all the ways that Wonder shows up in my life. Lately I have been feeling so challenged by my daughters’ adolescence and yesterday I rose before the sun to have some peace and quiet. Of course, that only led to tears and as I looked out my bathroom window, there was a beautiful red cardinal. It made me smile and took away the angst I had been feeling. These wonderful birds have shown up so many times in my life, just when I need them. The cardinal has been like an old friend calling out of the blue on a day when I have particularly needed someone outside of myself to make me smile.
If I were to name God, I would name her/him “synchronicity.” In those magical moments that come with friends or something in nature, or even a book or poem I open to or hear, I see and feel God’s presence in my life. My mother was an identical twin and as children we were constantly aware of the special communication she seemed to have with her sister. Picking up the phone to call her, her twin would be on the other line. Showing up at an extended family event, they would sometimes be wearing the same dress, or at least the same color. Even as a child these magical events seemed to bring the sense of Spirit to me more than most of what I felt at Mass. Although, I believe I felt the transubstantiation of the elements much more because I had experienced these moments of Spirit in my life.
In synchronicities, even those that come from the stories in sacred texts, that suspension of the ordinary is just enough to give me a moment’s pause from the mundane. It is in those moments that I find myself reveling in Spirit. As a child in Catholic school I had heard the story of Jesus walking on water many, many times. The emphasis in the story by the priest or pastor who was recounting it was always on Peter and his lack of faith that makes him fall as he is attempting to get to Jesus further away.
The first time I heard someone tell the story from the perspective of the disciples in the boat being the people who were unsure of their faith and not Peter, I began to smile. Peter got out of the boat. His faith was strong enough that he tried --- sure he faltered, but he got out of the boat!
This morning, again thinking about raising two girls by myself, I read a passage from Raphael Cushnir in a little book called “Surfing Your Inner Sea: Essential Lessons on Lasting Serenity.” The writing I opened to was titled, “you can’t do it wrong.” I laughed quietly to myself upon opening the reading and remembered the story about Jesus walking on water. A decade ago I wondered if I was doing the right thing, having fostered my daughters for a year, I was adopting them. I was getting out of the boat and my faith has wavered many times since then.
That lack of faith seems particularly acute just now, but here was this essay reminding me that I can’t do it wrong. With each “failure” I am learning, with each day, I am becoming more grounded in ways to take care of myself and them. So I say it inside to myself: “I can’t do it wrong.”
If I were to name God, I would name her/him “synchronicity.” In those magical moments that come with friends or something in nature, or even a book or poem I open to or hear, I see and feel God’s presence in my life. My mother was an identical twin and as children we were constantly aware of the special communication she seemed to have with her sister. Picking up the phone to call her, her twin would be on the other line. Showing up at an extended family event, they would sometimes be wearing the same dress, or at least the same color. Even as a child these magical events seemed to bring the sense of Spirit to me more than most of what I felt at Mass. Although, I believe I felt the transubstantiation of the elements much more because I had experienced these moments of Spirit in my life.
In synchronicities, even those that come from the stories in sacred texts, that suspension of the ordinary is just enough to give me a moment’s pause from the mundane. It is in those moments that I find myself reveling in Spirit. As a child in Catholic school I had heard the story of Jesus walking on water many, many times. The emphasis in the story by the priest or pastor who was recounting it was always on Peter and his lack of faith that makes him fall as he is attempting to get to Jesus further away.
The first time I heard someone tell the story from the perspective of the disciples in the boat being the people who were unsure of their faith and not Peter, I began to smile. Peter got out of the boat. His faith was strong enough that he tried --- sure he faltered, but he got out of the boat!
This morning, again thinking about raising two girls by myself, I read a passage from Raphael Cushnir in a little book called “Surfing Your Inner Sea: Essential Lessons on Lasting Serenity.” The writing I opened to was titled, “you can’t do it wrong.” I laughed quietly to myself upon opening the reading and remembered the story about Jesus walking on water. A decade ago I wondered if I was doing the right thing, having fostered my daughters for a year, I was adopting them. I was getting out of the boat and my faith has wavered many times since then.
That lack of faith seems particularly acute just now, but here was this essay reminding me that I can’t do it wrong. With each “failure” I am learning, with each day, I am becoming more grounded in ways to take care of myself and them. So I say it inside to myself: “I can’t do it wrong.”
